Anita Zabludowicz has a blog, or something that we’ll call a blog for want of a better word. It’s more like an endless stream of blurry snapshots with semi-literate annotations regarding where in the world and with whom she had breakfast, lunch or dinner. Or perhaps one could compare it to a Tumblr site that’s accidentally updated from time to time by a short-sighted chimp who follows Anita around to art events. It’s not really about art at all, although there are admittedly sometimes artists somewhere in the frame even if they’re pissed or stuffing their faces at a dinner they didn’t pay for or submitting like terrified rabbits to Anita’s iPhone camera that she doesn’t really know how to use and is made of solid coltan, conflict diamonds and the crystallised blood of a thousand Palestinian babies.
For those who don’t know already, Anita is “one of Britain’s most esteemed art patrons, a trustee of Tate and Camden Arts Centre, and sponsor of Whitechapel, the Zoo Art Fair, and other art institutions” according to this fawning puff of an interview by Flash Art. She’s the wife of millionaire Poju Zabludowicz. He’s the 18th richest man in Britain and his main claim to fame is that he aggressively lobbies the British government on behalf of Israel. His family fortune derives from the Israeli arms dealer Soltam and his own investment business is registered in the notably above-board and not shady at all Principality of Liechtenstein. SEEMS LEGIT.
Anita herself has no apparent occupation of her own other than “spender of dodgy oligarch’s money” and “pathological name dropper” but you know, fuck it, she doesn’t have to work because she married some kind of Bond villain motherfucker. She’s friends with the likes of Madonna and various art world shitbags, and she likes to make sure we all know it.
The blog was brought to my attention mainly due to the fact that some curators and artists I’ve met recently (including individuals who actually have dealings with her or the Zabludowicz Collection) constantly laugh about her behind her back because of her arrant stupidity and vapid shallowness, both of which are demonstrated irrefutably on her blog. They’re right to mock her, because I’ve known ten year old children- and indeed parrots- who could provide a more cogent account of their life, thoughts and activities than this woman does on her blog. She really does seem to be a functional moron of some kind and she’s so lacking in depth she seems to defy the very laws of Euclidean geometry. She’s not a philanthropist, she just can’t do basic maths so she has no idea of how much money she’s giving away. Never has my “Götterdämmerung” tag been more appropriate. Read Anita’s art diary and sob until you feel like you’re going to puke up your colon.
“We did not understand there was a whole scenario and that the two tramps on the stairs that took out £5 were actors” Glad someone was fooled by the hammy street slang!
… and Anita reveals that she calls people she thinks are homeless “tramps”, but still only gives them a fiver even though she could probably afford to give them a house.
She did at least- for the first time ever, as far as I know- apologise “for being thick.” Hi, Anita, thanks for reading my blog! Especially since I know it’s difficult for you to read and think and stuff. I accept your apology but do try harder in future.
Anyway, must dash because Lucy Liu’s got a show on and Anita says Lucy’s as talented a painter as she is an actress! Um… yeah. Remind me of the last great acting performance Lucy Liu did, somebody? Anybody?
Frankly, I think Anita would be fooled by shoelaces and doorknobs so hammy street slang is the least of her problems.
PS Zoo Art Fair went out of business.
Oh boy I looked it up after reading this, but I could only make it thru half a page of that twaddle…. Words cannot describe ….
Don’t feel bad, you did well.
One of Anita’s more recent searing insights regarding the contemporary art world: “One of my friends – cannot remember who – showing of (sic) her new socks.”
Her blog makes the most banal lunch-tweeting morons of Twitter seem like Einstein.