THE BEST POSTS OF ALL TIME, 5

28 Sep

Boris Johnson. SFX: Invasion of the Body Snatchers shriek.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST? “… using Sally O’Reilly as a human shield to put a round in the forehead of Sarah Thornton’s glossy, Grazia-esque, drooling, “… and of course Damien was attracted to me…” starfucker book about contemporary artists, Seven Days in the Art World.”

ANISH KAPOOR: ORBIT “It’s a giant wireframe octopus trying in vain to open a can of tuna. Or a melted version of Tatlin’s Monument to the Third International. Or one of Tokyo Tower’s feet, all that remains after the rest of it was wrenched off by Godzilla to use as a kind of swatter against annoying jet fighters. Or the kind of non-Euclidean, tentacular fetish idol that one of HP Lovecraft’s squeamish antiquarian characters would glimpse in a nightmare trance vision of Earth in the far future, a world devoid of decency and logic, a world riddled like a rotten apple with the vile, tumorous excrescences of incomprehensible forces utterly inimical to humanity (e.g. Boris Johnson.)”

Best posts of all time, numbers 10-7.

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