DOUBLE TROUBLE

25 Jun

GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT THE TRUTH AIN’T ONE

Sad news. Notting Hill shopkeepers, “Art as Lifestyle” buccaneers and massive Career Suicide fans Debut Contemporary recently experienced some kind of unfortunate IT glitch, leading to the total loss of all the one star reviews and negative comments on their Facebook page. Luckily, all the uncritical or gushing four and five star reviews were uneffected. Even better, somebody screencapped all the bad reviews before they disappeared. I’m sure Samir will be pleased to know they weren’t lost and are still circulating freely.

Following this tragedy on Facebook, I couldn’t help noticing some of their excellent photography.

MoreenYantobWho’s this? Only bloody “Moreen Lipman” and “Alan Yantob” [both sic and, evidently, sick if they really endorse this place] as proudly namechecked in the DC prospectus. Maybe they’re impersonators who have to style themselves thusly in order to avoid legal action from the real has-been actress and the genuine middlebrow art Hobbit. Samir’s also apparently had a go with other art world titans such as Jason Donovan and Alan Carr. I know, impressive. One time I was on at a Virgin Megastore with Kylie Minogue, though, on the same fucking poster and everything, it was like Alistair Gentry 2pm Kylie Minogue 3pm. Think on that and what it says about my importance to the field of Fine Art.

DebutArtisticApparently this is a “performance artist”. She doesn’t get a name, but then I wouldn’t want my name associated with this kind of shit either. Well played, love. With the hat and the makeup you’re probably unrecognisable enough that you could go on to have a career without anyone knowing you were ever at the little shop of horrors in Notting Hill. This place is the kind of laboratory where horrible human experiments are done in B movies. Ceric was probably thinking about a stock photograph fantasy lab with white coated babes eyeballing test tubes full of coloured liquids, but in reality it’s probably more like The Island of Dr. Moreau.

Having photographs that are in focus and properly exposed is so passé, isn’t it? Much better when you just let the flash go off automatically and the picture still ends up all blurred.

That sign needs fixing, though.

ArtisticLavMuch more accurate, I think. Lastly, here’s photographic evidence of Mr. C’s relationship with my pal (and yours) Ryan Stanier from the Other Art Fair! Originally I typed “Satanier”. Only an accidental typo, but if the shoe fits, etc… Anyway, although somebody once went so far as to assert it was libellous of me to suggest that generally speaking birds of a feather screw artists together, here’s the two of them palling up with each other. Other repeat offenders have well documented friendships, speaking engagements, or reciprocal, cosy PR puff arrangements with these two. Silly creators of art, beauty and insight… the real money’s in herding and corralling artists, not being one.

ScamirSatan

“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” George Orwell, Animal Farm.

SatanScamir

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One Response to “DOUBLE TROUBLE”

  1. Alistair 31/08/2014 at 1:39 PM #

    Both Debut and OAF have something or other done for them by FAD Agency. Hard to tell. It’s sort of consultancy PR type stuff or something. Totally Nathan Barley. Obviously it’s uncool to be clear about what your company actually does. It’s related to the FAD “cool art stuff” [sic] site, though, which is frequently an uncritical mouthpiece for various art world scumbags.
    I don’t know what FAD stands for, but a few things immediately come to mind and they have nothing to do with art.

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