WHAT THE BUCK?

2 May
EvilTwins

The terrible two: Anita Zabludowicz (wearing her Anita Z botox selfie mask) and Charles Saatchi (thinking about choking a bitch, probably). A plague on both their houses, preferably a very painful plague accompanied by an embarrassing loss of control over bodily functions.

I know I shouldn’t expect much from a longstanding Anita Zabludowicz toady like Louisa Buck, but I just couldn’t resist the disconnect between somebody who goes by the highfalutin title of “Independent Critic and Contemporary Art Correspondent, The Art Newspaper” and this item by her in that very “Newspaper”[sic]; an article written in the style of a fourteen year old YouTube makeover vlogger. It’s a short but ghastly piece of prose, not to mention the sickening images it celebrates…  mainly that of Thatcherite horrors like Charles “I emphasise my point with strangling” Saatchi, Tory Tracey From Margate and Der Friezeführer Matthew Slotover “imbibing and dancing in and around the Zabludowicz swimming pool”. To me this is a vision of hell, not of fun.

“Independent Critic” = unemployed and “Contemporary Art Correspondent, The Art Newspaper” seems to be a euphemism for “Louisa gets invited to posh parties on the understanding that she’ll bang out a quick drivelling puff piece about them when she sobers up.” Her slot at The Art Newspaper is called ‘The Buck Stops Here’, which feeds in almost perfectly to the retort that she really should stop.

I recommend bracing yourself for a barrage of this content-and-critique-free cack in all the art magazines and broadsheet newspapers when the metropolitan media follow the art world’s worst and shitest as they decamp to Venice for the Biennale at the start of May.

EvilTwins

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7 Responses to “WHAT THE BUCK?”

  1. anitachowdry 04/05/2015 at 11:54 AM #

    Yes, that has to be the worst attempt at art journalism I have ever encountered! My favourite is “… even an unexpected appearance from Charles Saatchi with his squeeze Trinny Woodall—he described the ever-effervescent Anita as “Miss Enthusiasm” and her devoted (and deep-pocketed) husband Poju as “Mr Generosity”….

    Louise Buck may be slightly forgiven if a) she is under 11 years of age and this is a primary school project or b) she has just begun to learn English as a second language or c) she has severe learning difficulties which she is bravely trying to overcome. Clever girl Louise! You have just written your first post, all by yourself!

    • Alistair 04/05/2015 at 12:51 PM #

      Another reason why this is horrible writing: apparently neither of the women mentioned are credited by Buck with any agency or identity of their own, being merely and respectively a “squeeze” (nice) and the wife of Mr Generosity. Although to be fair, he IS very generous in donating to and lobbying the Conservative party on behalf of the armaments industry. I suppose Mr Blood-Money and Mrs Gold-Digger don’t have quite the same ring to them.

  2. anitachowdry 04/05/2015 at 1:28 PM #

    I like the creepy animation by the way!

    • Alistair 04/05/2015 at 3:13 PM #

      What animation? This actually happens to their faces when they get together. Something to do with critical mass of evil, probably.

  3. anitachowdry 04/05/2015 at 3:21 PM #

    Ha Ha!

  4. Alistair 21/05/2015 at 2:58 PM #

    Reblogged this on Alistair Gentry.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. TOP TEN THINGS TO SEE AT THE VENICE BIENNALE 2015 | CAREER SUICIDE - 05/05/2015

    […] 8. ANITA’S ART PARTY […]

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