Search results for 'debut contemporary'

DOUBLE TROUBLE

25 Jun

GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT THE TRUTH AIN’T ONE

Sad news. Notting Hill shopkeepers, “Art as Lifestyle” buccaneers and massive Career Suicide fans Debut Contemporary recently experienced some kind of unfortunate IT glitch, leading to the total loss of all the one star reviews and negative comments on their Facebook page. Luckily, all the uncritical or gushing four and five star reviews were uneffected. Even better, somebody screencapped all the bad reviews before they disappeared. I’m sure Samir will be pleased to know they weren’t lost and are still circulating freely.

Following this tragedy on Facebook, I couldn’t help noticing some of their excellent photography.

MoreenYantobWho’s this? Only bloody “Moreen Lipman” and “Alan Yantob” [both sic and, evidently, sick if they really endorse this place] as proudly namechecked in the DC prospectus. Maybe they’re impersonators who have to style themselves thusly in order to avoid legal action from the real has-been actress and the genuine middlebrow art Hobbit. Samir’s also apparently had a go with other art world titans such as Jason Donovan and Alan Carr. I know, impressive. One time I was on at a Virgin Megastore with Kylie Minogue, though, on the same fucking poster and everything, it was like Alistair Gentry 2pm Kylie Minogue 3pm. Think on that and what it says about my importance to the field of Fine Art.

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NEW YEAR, SAME MISERABLE BASTARD

1 Jan

This year the WordPress annual blog report has expressed viewing figures via the rather peculiar metric of “sold out performances at Sydney Opera House”, which I apparently did eleven times in 2013. Whatever I was performing there, it must have been rocking.

I’ll be doing some proper posts again in the new year, and also recording some more Artbollocks Theatre readings. In the meantime:

You can read my tip*, one of the top five of 2013 for Culture Pros in The Guardian. Spoiler: “pro” isn’t short for prostitute, but you do still need to pay us… somebody else’s top tip is to use cat, owl or bird hashtags so look forward to plenty of those in 2014.

Derren Brown is also mentioned. Don’t worry about it, just accept it.

* NB: Not a euphemism.

Grumpy-Cat

#CAT #OWL #BIRD #CAT #OWL #BIRD #CAT #OWL #BIRD

  • If you’re in the UK and you’re a blogger, a journalist, a commentator of any kind, or even if you just like twatting away on Twitter, then you can rejoice in the fact that from yesterday– the 31st December 2013– the Defamation Act 2013 came into force and henceforth prevents anybody from screeching defamation or libel every time they’re fairly criticised unless they can conclusively prove in advance that “serious harm” is being done by discussion of the matter at hand… so every single one of the people who’ve threatened me or other commentators in the past for expressing opinions and encouraging debate, or rumbled about legal action in an attempt to stifle dissent can now definitively and with the full backing of British law DO ONE. Critics of the art world, the Omerta era is over. Let’s make sure the gains made by the late, great Cathedral of Shit and their ilk aren’t reversed.
  • And finally, below you can check out some of the greatest hits and biggest shits of the past year from this blog. I was joined during my surprise 2013 Antipodean gigs by these top special guests:
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ARTIST OPPORTUNITIES THAT AREN’T, RUN BY GALLERIES THAT AREN’T

TOPTASTEMAKERS

Boo! COLOURBLIND KIDS TV PRESENTER CAPTAIN HOOK and THE GRINWITCH OF BOTOXIA– I beg your pardon, I mean “TOP TASTEMAKERS” SAMIR CERIC and ZOE KNIGHT of Debut Contemporary are the bumbling panto villains of this season, and every season. Boo! Look out, Wendy, they’re behind you!

brent_resize

One of the USA’s most exciting contemporary artists, BRENT.

"Can you tell what it is yet?"

ROLF HARRIS. [Joke about Two Little Boys]

C0085418 Shoichi KOGA, "Seitenmodoki" (Ganesha Nan

JAPANESE OUTSIDER ARTISTS.

HandsOfOrlac

OH SHIT, IT’S CHARLES SAATCHI!

Maude

MAUDE LEBOWSKI.

“Check out my street art and viral vid website, redwindmill.co.ck."

TRUSTAFARIANS OF THE BELLE ÉPOQUE.

18-kirk-douglasVVGRazor

… and VINCENT VAN GOGH.

PS: #cats.

REBOOT

8 Dec

Rejoice: even though it’s not being updated for the time being, the Market Project site is online again. This means that all the transcripts of our talks with gallerists and other art professionals are available again, and so are the numerous useful articles about making a living as an artist. Of course this also means the return of the original and notorious Debut Contemporary thread in which er… “somebody” cried havoc and let slip the sock puppets of flame war, mainly to call me and my colleagues bitter, or over-zealous, jealous losers and other playground names… but all in vain when a good number of their former clients broke cover to provide first hand accounts of how shitty their experiences were. Some of those people have good reason to be bitter but it seems like most of them were able to be more magnanimous, generous and humble than any of Debut’s supporters could manage in that discussion.

I’m sure Samir will be as thrilled as I am that the site is back.

ChaneyPhantomoftheOpera

Meanwhile, in Notting Hill…

“I CHOKED ON MY LOAD”

5 Dec

IMG_6858Those of you who are interested in the antics of “top tastemakers” Debut Contemporary should visit Charlie Tuesday Gates and read about her CON ARTIST demonstration/infiltration at their Christmas party. She’s brave (and firmly within the law– she very shrewdly checked with the police first!), righteously angry, funny, and among other things you will learn:

  • About Debut’s “CEO” [sic] Samir Ceric and his failed “airline” that wasn’t really. According to company records at Duedil.com he is 39 years old and has TWENTY-THREE known defunct businesses behind him. Therefore if they were spread out evenly throughout every year of his adult life this would amount to at least one defunct business for every single year since 1992. He retired from only three, i.e. in only three cases does it appear the company outlived his involvement. The closed companies include two (Globace Ltd, and the interestingly named Salon Gallery Ltd) flagged in the database as having, quote, “possible adverse information” about the financial risk and general advisibility of dealing with these companies. There’s another one– Graduate Art Fair Ltd– that is also dissolved but seems only to be recorded at Companies House and not on the Duedil database.
  • How Ceric also claimed to be a board member for the British Council (with screengrab proof of the since deleted page. Addendum: actually amended– page is still there but it now says he just attended a workshop, alongside at least one known crony of his from elsewhere) and how that didn’t go down at all well with the British Council… because he wasn’t a board member. Not even close. He also seems to be doing the “who’s going to check this magazine or quote actually exists?” press clippings trick.
  • How DC tried to reel Gates in even though she turned up to her interview with a dead fox in a suitcase… then persisted in citing her as one of their success stories for a year after she’d told them where to go. (A correspondent tells a similar story here about her asking them to remove a spurious testimonial and an unauthorised image from their promotional literature three years previously.)
  • How, when the police were called to remove Gates and her crew, the police apparently agreed that Ceric might well be liable to prosecution based upon the information available about him.

and, last but not least, as CTG says:

  • “You can’t buy your way in. There is no shortcut to fame and glory.”

Anyway, her post is far funnier and more inspiring than my boring summary so I suggest you go and read it.

http://www.charlietuesdaygates.co.uk/2013/12/con-artist-crimes-against-artists.html

And to The Hospital Club, The Guardian, and various other supposedly reputable people or organisations who shouldn’t really in good conscience be having anything to do with Debut Contemporary instead of taking everything they say and do at face value… having carried out the basic and not very time consuming homework you should have done before you endorsed Debut Contemporary I’m sure I can speak for Charlie Tuesday Gates and myself when I say: you’re welcome.

TOP TASTEMAKERS

20 Nov

(IT’S THE TASTE OF BEING SLIGHTLY SICK INTO YOUR OWN MOUTH)

TOPTASTEMAKERSNote, November 2013: I’m republishing this from the currently unavailable Market Project site*, where it was first posted about eighteen months ago. I’m doing so on the occasion of Samir Ceric from Debut Contemporary being named by the Hospital Club and Guardian Culture Pros as one of the most “innovative, interesting and influential people” in the arts in Britain.

* It’s now un-unavailable. Read the original here.

Even leaving aside that all these top ten or top hundred most influential/powerful/richest/whatever lists are absolute fucking bullshit and they say very little about a person’s actual merit or achievements but a great deal about them having the right kinds of friends in the right places, I would venture to suggest that if anybody wants to turn it into a contest then I’m more influential than he is, because sometimes in a week I’ll have more readers here than I would if I wrote for Frieze or any other art magazine every month for a year. And who do people come to when they think they’ve been fucked over by the likes of Debut Contemporary? Me. His desperation is palpable to anyone who isn’t wilfully blinding themselves to it.

I’m definitely more “interesting” and “innovative” than him, if only because my expressions of personality aren’t entirely reliant upon having a wacky wardrobe full of clown clothes. Read more about Debut’s recent shenanigans and their (dis)information catalogue here.

When I initially wrote the article, I was just annoyed by the fact that people were actually falling for what looked to me like obvious bullshit, and by the general air of insufferable arrogance, pretentious snobbery, smugness and greed that I think hangs around the entire enterprise. I had no idea it would go viral and attract hundreds of comments, many of them from former Debut clients sharing their horror stories of bullying, intimididation, lies and threats. In a wider sense it acted as a lightning rod for concerns from real art professionals (i.e. not the likes of Ceric) that the exploitation of young and naive artists was out of control. Regular readers of this site will know that Debut are not the only culprits, but in my opinion they are probably the worst– and the reasons why they are the worst are not just because I say so or express an opinion about it. They were and are very well documented if anybody bothers to look, or listen to all the people who feel they were deceived. I suggest you start by Googling the artists Charlie Tuesday Gates and Theresa Bruno for a start. You can also very easily check Ceric’s track record of limited companies and other business ventures, which for now it suffices to say is nothing to be proud of.

As you will see, I and my colleagues were also honoured to attract some patented Debut Contemporary-style intimidation for daring to oppose them or say anything bad about them. What follows is not the original article verbatim, but a digest of the most cogent parts.

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