Tag Archives: Belgium


16 Feb


Dramatic readings of the worst artist statements, gallery press releases and art criticism. All real, all serious, all horribly written. I apologise in advance for any foreign or jargon words that I accidentally pronounced correctly. This time, two artists in a Belgian “overall installation” that seems to be about interfering with virgins. You can play along with your Artbollocks Bingo card, and you can watch more Artbollocks Theatre here on the blog or on my Vimeo channel.

“From the stock of a museum, Sophie Langohr unearthed fifteen statues of the Virgin Mary in the Saint-Sulpice style, which today represent the purest form of religious knick-knack and the beginnings of a semi-industrial art. The artist confronts the outmoded faces with the ones found on the internet of the current muses that incarnate the big brands of the luxury industry.
 As diptychs, these transfigurations give us the consummate illusion of a particularly dreaded cinema-photo-digital aesthetics.”

Yes… but why did she do it? This information is totally absent, and it is perhaps the most cogent thing we might like to know before we’ve seen the work, or if not cogent then at least it’s the aspect that might allow us to decide whether what the artist has done actually has any purpose or merit. How odd that we’re specifically denied the option of doing so. HASHTAG SARCASM. How does one confront faces? If this just means “putting them next to one other”, then just say so.  What is “cinema-photo-digital aesthetics”, why is it “particularly dreaded” and by whom?

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5 Dec

… it’s easy if you try. This is the anti-Artbollocks Theatre. Belgium’s Netwerk Center for Contemporary Art recently sent out an announcement about forthcoming solo exhibitions by two artists:

Bert Danckaert – Simple Present

Bert Danckaert (b. 1965, Antwerp) is working on a doctorate in the arts. The research is reflected in two publications, one with pictures that act as protagonists and the other in the form of a novel. In Netwerk he presents to the public a presentation of his final thesis with a wide selection of photographic works and an installation with two new films.

Sean Edwards – Drawn in Cursive

Sean Edwards (b. 1980) intelligently examines the functional value and the sculptural potential of everyday objects. His oeuvre consists of minimal sculptures and installations, which are composed of small objects, drawings, photos, pictures and clippings he has collected.

Although the word “oeuvre” still brings me out in a rash– “His oeuvre consists of…” could easily be further clarified to “He makes…”– the statement is simple, factual, clear and it doesn’t presume to tell us what we should see, think or feel so I’ll allow them one jargon word. Some people may be surprised to hear it, but I would be very happy if eventually I was unable to find any atrocious artist statements or preposterous press releases to make fun of. The art is supposed to inspire us and tell us everything we need to know about the artist’s intentions, not the press release. Congratulations to whoever is responsible, whether it’s the gallery, the artists, or some combination of the aforementioned. More press releases like this example, please.

And the whooooole world will be as one.


“I’d ask youse to sit down, but our Yoko’s hidden all the furniture again, haven’t you luv?”

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