… is one of the possible reasons why all the people appear to have lost control over basic motor skills as well as their damn minds in the aforementioned Anish Kapoor and Friends [sic] video, making the most of the inexplicable craze for Gangnam Style a few years ago. Like your grandad realising several years after the fact what twerking is or what whippits are, so he keeps saying “twerking” or “whippits” all the time and nudging you because he’d like you to admit he’s totally with it and hasn’t lost his touch. Anyway, dance along like a toddler to some horrifying GIFs from Anish Kapoor and his imaginary friends.
Firstly some box-fresh gallerinas, straight from the Gallery Maid factory’s affordable basic range. Jackie O bug shades? Yes. Short dress over black tights? Yes. Straight, shoulder length hair? Yes. Moves like granny? No, granny’s actually a better dancer. I never heard of Gladstone Gallery before. Understand? I NEVER HEARD OF YOU. And I’ve only heard of about six of the artists they represent. Well done, ladies. Keep up the little-to-no work.
Does anybody know who this little herbert is, with his pompadour, his air tie and his Matalan suit? Looks like a mini-me of noted feminist Charles Saatchi.
Here’s a contribution from that well-known art world luminary, Tumblr. One beer (seen here, bottom left) and Mr Tumblr is straight onto the dance floor, delivering black eyes, an elbow in the breasts, or knocked out teeth to anyone within striking distance. One beer and he’s even straight onto the dance floor when there’s no dance floor or music. Thanks to your bedroom dance sessions, young master Tumblr, Ai Wei Wei is free! But you’d better scrub the wall before mum comes up to tell you to turn the music off, or she’ll be furious.
To be fair, this clip does sum up Tumblr pretty well.
Stripper dance moves for free speech, because nothing says “important campaign to raise awareness of state oppression and censorship” better than dry humping a pensioner.
I warn you now, henceforth I’m going to use this GIF every time I mention Anish Kapoor. Go home, sunshine. You’re drunk.