Tag Archives: myself


10 Nov

My poor babies, I know– as I’m sure you know too, in your anguish and despair– that I have been away for a while. Work and life and travelling and acquiring a number of disturbing masks and wigs. The normal things a normal person does when they are not blogging. But hush your howls of loss and dry your mucous membranes, for I have returned and will shortly recommence gnawing the art world’s unattractive cankles.



25 Sep

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See some of Artbollocks Theatre, series 2 at the Outcasting: Fourth Wall Festival of artists’ moving image work in Cardiff this October. Various dates from October 6th at Porter’s Bar Cinema, then at ATRiuM, University of South Wales from October 13th. Other screening programmes continue throughout the month at different venues, including Chapter. Launch on October 1st, 4-7pm. Even leaving myself aside (which is both hard to do and extremely foolish because I’m AMAZING) there are some great artists, commissions and films in this one. Anyone who doesn’t like it or doesn’t find it appealing is dead to me. YOU HEAR? Dead.

New art bollockers brought to justice soon in Artbollocks Theatre 3: Super Cop.

Also, bloody hell, how did it get to be October already?


16 May

Fahrenheit 451 TV_5003_00003A: Cyril Cusack


My books Career Suicide: Ten Years as a Free Range Artist and Uncanny Valley have been around for a while and selling well in a variety of formats, but they are now available to buy electronically in a good proportion of the entire world. The parts of the world that have internet access, anyway. The ePub versions are all DRM-less, reasonably priced and available directly from Lulu, or from Amazon, or from the Apple, Kindle, NOOK and Kobo stores on your device. The barbarically archaic and decadent printed paperback and hardback versions are available from Lulu, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Ingram.



28 Mar

ArtBTheatreTitleMore dramatic readings of the worst artist statements, gallery press releases and art criticism every week, except when I don’t do them every week. This week’s artist is doing a lot of boring stuff. ON. PURPOSE. My mind is blown.

Play Artbollocks Bingo!

Sofia Hultén (b. 1972 in Stockholm, lives in Berlin) delicately occupies herself in her videos, installations, sculptures and photographs with the wide variety of opportunities for action. By reconstructing or rearranging courses of events she explores in the process banal everyday procedures like eating an apple as well as the character and history of profane objects with little value like a worn piece of wood or an old toolbox she finds at construction or demolition sites. She hence regularly succeeds in breaking through conventional patterns of perception and tracing unknown dimensions in the everyday.

The second sentence is nearly fifty words long and completely unpunctuated. Try reading it aloud and making it sound interesting and informative. I failed, obviously. In fact I think I almost lost the will to live about halfway through that sentence. Punctuation: use it. As for “tracing unknown dimensions in the everyday”… seriously? How does one even trace an unknown dimension? This isn’t Ghostbusters, lady. Science-y handwaving about perception and unknown dimensions needs to stay in the script for Doctor Who, where it belongs.

I am undoubtedly mispronouncing this woman’s name and for that I apologise to any Swedes who might be reading. Look on the bright side though, dear Swedes, she lives in Berlin now. Not that the Germans deserve her, either. Of course she lives in Berlin. There’s no pretentious, overblown artist like a pretentious, overblown Berlin artist.

Continue reading


21 Mar

ArtBTheatreTitleMore dramatic readings of the worst artist statements, gallery press releases and art criticism every week, except when I don’t do them every week. This week we erase the lasting and iniquitous effects of colonialism by vandalising high school textbooks. Who knew it was so easy? Somebody should have told Gandhi. Montezuma? The fool should have just done some cut ups with the Conquistadors’ books and everything would have been OK.

Bonus: play Artbollocks Bingo with me!

The ongoing exhibition and production project titled Margin of Error, now opening as a show at Tasneem Gallery in Barcelona, constitutes Magnetic Declination’s first public intervention, and premieres the first instalment of the group’s planned cinematic work, which will include further releases in the future.

Magnetic Declination is a research and production group formed by theorists, curators, and visual artists. DM’s work is based on post- and de-colonial approaches that seek to dismantle the imagery and the discourses underpinning Spain’s mainstream historical narratives. In parallel, DM (note: their own abbreviation of Declination Magnetic, which is lucky because I’d have been really bored and annoyed having to say it repeatedly) also explores hybrid methodologies arising from the intersection of different artistic and research strategies in the field of practice and knowledge production.

Intervention– DING! Postcolonial– DING! Decolonial– DING! Discourses– DING! Narrative– DING! Hybrid– DING! Methodologies– DING! Intersection– DING! Research– DING! Strategies– DING! Knowledge production– DING!

No plan can involve further releases in the past because this is a logical, semantic and chronological impossibility unless you’re a time traveller. Which they aren’t. The third singular present tense of the modal verb “will” already indicates something to come. Therefore the whole sentence is redundant from the final comma onwards (“…which will…”), because we’ve already been told it’s the first instalment of planned work. 50% of the entire first sentence-paragraph is filler.

DM’s main line of work at the moment comprises a series of short audio-visual productions where different fictional, non-fictional, and essay-like styles and formats are mobilised in a re-examination of Spain’s (and Europe’s) colonial background as it unfolds historically into the present, especially in the light of the current global crisis.

Margin of Error is a critical re-assessment of past and present-day coloniality focusing on the dominant narrative construction of historical events such as the ‘Discovery’ and the Conquest of America, as they are reflected in text-books used in schools in Spain. Besides deconstructing the assemblage of graphic discourses, visual materials and textual constructs found in official school books, the project also surveys alternative uses of the same educational resources, as new possibilities arise through an exploration of group dynamics involving secondary school teachers and students.

“Group dynamics involving secondary school teachers and students”? First time I’ve ever heard it called that. Continue reading

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