Tag Archives: portraits

NASTY, BRUTISH AND SHORT

18 Apr

An artist who painted a picture of Donald Trump nude, with a very small penis, possibly even a case of bona fide medically diagnosable micropenis, has been threatened with legal action via an “anonymous filing of a Digital Millennium Copyright Act notice” if she sells it to anyone.

U OK, Don?

It’s currently being exhibited in London, to the general edification and amusement of all. In the USA, meanwhile, the artist received thousands of death threats and galleries chickened out of hanging it because they feared violence from Trump’s thuggish, quasi-fascist supporters. QED.

Anyway, let’s all spite those imbeciles and Streisand Effect the shit out of the deranged, shit-for-brains, racist, rabble-rousing, hypocritical, incoherent, child-handed, small-dicked, candyfloss-haired, ignoramus psychopath megalomaniac robber-capitalist they idolise by looking at Illma Gore’s painting of Donald Trump and posting about it everywhere.

Make America Great Again by Illma Gore, 2016.

Make America Great Again by Illma Gore, 2016.

Artist threatened with lawsuits if she sells nude Donald Trump painting

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“GLORIFIED SHOPPING MALLS”

27 Jan

Some magnificent verbal kamikaze quotes from Australian gallerist Evan Hughes, on the occasion of closing down the business founded by his father and then run by himself.

Top Sydney gallerist launches blistering attack on the art world

PRODUCT FOR DICKHEADS

ArtWorldDickheadsE_Hughes

“… It was almost as if we were given permission to declare that the art world had been taken over by dickheads. Too much of the commercial art trade has become about the selling of product and the accumulation of capital, much to the confusion and disillusionment of young artists. “

REALISTIC PORTRAITURE

Greedy_EHughes

A commission for Malcolm Turnbull, Australian prime minister: “In the 1990s, when Malcolm was still a merchant banker, the Turnbull family commissioned one of my father’s artists, Lewis Miller, to paint a portrait of Malcolm. Unhappy with the work, Turnbull confronted my father at a function and exclaimed: “That artist of yours is no good; he’s made me look like a big, fat, greedy cunt”, to which my father replied, “He is a realist painter, you know”. “

WWAVD?

TackyMailOrder_EHughes

“I suddenly asked myself: “Would Vollard be doing art fairs and Artsy?” Maybe he would; we didn’t want to.” He’s referring to the French art dealer Ambroise Vollard, who supported many artists when they needed it most. As for Artsy… mmm… yeah…

GLORIFIED SHOPPING MALLS

ArtFairs_EHughes

“…It was just depressing to realise that the art trade is now centred on glorified shopping malls run by quasi-property developers (art fairs) and tacky mail-order firms (internet enterprises).”

WHERE’S THAT DONKEY?

18 Jan

This week it was revealed that British MPs have recently spent £250,000 of tax payers’ money on commissioning paintings of themselves. Not just the usual fat Tory pigs either, but also old school lefties like Tony Benn who might be hoped and expected to know better, and to guess how badly it would sit with the public and the media when it inevitably came out. Unlike many of the people who’ve already held forth on this subject, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong or absurd about a politician commissioning an artist to paint their portrait. We all know artists need all the work they can get, too. Also unlike many commentators who were frankly just showing their ignorance, I’m not going to express incredulity that a portrait of Diane Abbott (for example) cost £11, 750. That’s how much a commissioned painting costs. At least. As Whistler famously said during his libel case against Ruskin in 1877, an artist doesn’t ask two hundred guineas (or whatever) for the work of two days, but for the knowledge they have gained in the work of a lifetime.

However, according to http://www.parliament.uk/about/mps-and-lords/members/pay-mps “The basic annual salary for an MP from 1 April 2013 is £66,396. MPs also receive expenses to cover the costs of running an office, employing staff, having somewhere to live in London and in their constituency, and travelling between Parliament and their constituency.” MPs can and should pay for their own bloody paintings. George Osborne repeated his absurd “we’re all in it together” mantra this week, too, but I haven’t noticed myself, my pensioner mother, my disabled or elderly neighbours, or all the people I see working all hours for minimum wage getting their portraits painted and paid for by the state. Or earning £66K, usually having other sources of income, and on top of it all our expenses paid for living in at least two homes, for that matter. There must be some mistake, George. Can I write to the Treasury and get this sorted out?

I did, however, notice two things about the portraits themselves.

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Firstly, this portrait of Iain Duncan Smith by Paul Benney…

hhbavariandress1926

… bears a disturbing resemblance to this one of Adolf Hitler. One of these men thinks the poor, the ill and the disabled should just be left to die, and the other one is Adolf Hitler.

Diane-Abbott-official-head-and-shoulders

Secondly, here is the official (photo) portrait of the aforementioned Diane Abbott. What’s wrong with every MP just having an image like this to represent them? She looks professional but we get some hint of her personality, however unpleasant we may personally find it. It’s a well-shot, nicely lit photo that flatters without being deceptive. It works.

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Unfortunately, the painting of Abbott (by Stuart Pearson Wright) makes her look like this. Wait, it reminds me of something…

SHREK 2

Oh shit. Yeah.

AbbottShrek

QED. You paid for it, bitches*.
*(Refers only to that subset of bitches who are UK tax payers)

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